There was a plan.
Roger and I have been faithfully working on that plan for many years.
The plan was to be debt free. To have our house paid off along with all the debts in our lives.
Now imagine being able to know that the finish line was only a year away and then…..
A young person walks into my house and compliments us on a lovely home and asks me a question, “what brings you back to Lawrenceville?” To which I answer her with our long term goal of being debt free. She then looks at me with her beautiful big shiny eyes full of excitement and curiosity and asks me, “then what?”
I look at her and stutter, “what do you mean, ‘then what ’?” The goal is TO BE DEBT FREE, to which she says, “yeah, that’s awesome, then what”. Can I tell you that my ears started ringing a little bit. My mouth went dry and my heart was beating a little too fast.
All I can think of was, “oh no, there might be some reason we are doing this other than to ENJOY BEING DEBT FREE.” I don’t know why it never entered my brain. To know me is to know that I overthink everything in life. Everything in life is not an exaggeration. Thinking is what I do in my free time and I believe I even do it while I’m sleeping!
It is as if I literally saw a new mountain arise behind the mountain we were currently scaling. The mountain called debt.
Then the wrestle began with the still small voice.
No, no, no, no, no, no, it can’t be that there is another adventure to be had. Another mountain to scale, another B zone to conquer.
God, you do know that I just turned 50 right? That’s oldish if I do say so myself. Not the time to be taking financial risks and doing daring things (I said in my best hobbit voice). It’s time to grow up and enjoy some of the payoff that living right and hard work has to offer.
Then I could sense that heightened awareness of God’s presence wanting to get a word in edge wise. “You were created to live on Mission Rozy”, is what I kept hearing over and over again.
In my younger years I would have done the not so polite thing of putting my metaphoric hands over my ears and start singing lalalalalalalala, I can’t hear you, by choosing busyness and distraction.
But being older and a bit wiser, I know those are just delaying tactics.
It was time for me to just listen to the whisper of possibility, to pull an old dream out of the dusty basement of my soul and remember it.
When I was younger I would dream about having a house where learning and living and thriving could happen. Where people who were worn and tired or just needed to remember the goodness of God could come and be rekindled. A house of bread and wine, of laughter and joy and surrounded by all things beautiful.
“Home is a place of ministry. Redeeming words, thoughts, and actions are shared and taught, the wisdom and instructions of God is passed along, and God’s love is offered to all who come under its influence.” -From the Living Home: Creating a Place of Belonging and Becoming by Sarah and Sally Clarkson
I had packed that dream away and tucked it just out of arms reach. But it wasn’t out of the Spirit’s reach.
After much prayer and courageous conversation, Roger and I decided it was time to house hunt again, closer to where I work in Gainesville.
To find a home where souls could flourish. Where our whole family could continue to thrive together.
I’m happy/scared to say that we found one. We are set to close on March 18th and move on the 19th.
Moving is hard on my sentimental soul.
So if you think of me offer up a prayer.
On a lake in Gainesville GA.