The sea is rolling and churning and I serve as a witness to the turmoil the sand is undergoing in the powerful twisting force of the water. The sand is propelled upward that the water seems filled with sand. Beige water contrasts blue and I stand in awe of the sheer force of the waves.
My life transitions remind me of my time in the sea. Relationships that were hard won are now shifting and moving and the result remains to be seen. Makes me so sad for what was but hopeful about what will be.
This is what I do know is true. God has a plan and I will be moving into things not away from them. I always mourn. It’s half how I am wired. I give it all away and then grieve but, I know how to move forward.
I just don’t know how to do it and not hurt. This is what I have learned as silver appears on my crown, some pain is worth the cost.
I ask God what will come next for me in life. I can’t see yet. The water of my soul is murky. Just like the ocean that I am relishing this week. I’m churning and churning and the salt water is stinging my soul eyes. It will pass and soon my vision will be restored.
My water play is just like my life. You see I had a bout with the sea and the sea won. It flipped me around and I laughed as I scraped along the bottom and got tossed like a rag doll. It felt like I was playing with God. I play catch with him in my spirit and this was a manifestation of our game play but with water. To experience the expanse of the ocean is probably the only natural thing on earth that can best serve as a metaphor for his sheer greatness. It can surround me and overwhelm me yet it lifts me and propels me forward or back with great power. I am lost in its volume yet not lost put part of something so much greater than myself. I worked to stay afloat and above the waves. Some just crested my head and made me laugh with all the bouncing around. Refreshing and invigorating while also being exhausting and filling. When I resist the movement of the sea I get pummeled but when I surrender to its rhythm I am thrilled by the wonder of all that movement and sheer force. Lifted beyond what I can possibly do on my own, brought into the depths or out to the shore.
Yeah sounds God like to me.
I surrender in life and in the sea and enjoy my water play with the Creator.