I’ve lived on this earth for 43 years and I have only found one source of magic.
One of the definitions of magic is the ability of any extraordinary or mystical influence, power, etc.: a supposed supernatural power that makes impossible things happen.
I’ve had a difficult week. I had to watch as cancer was removed from my husband ear, step by step through eight emotionally excruciating attempts. We were unprepared for the skin graft that needed to be taken from his shoulder and placed on the wound that the extraction created. Sometimes life knocks the wind right out of your lungs. Something’s hit me harder than others and I can honestly say I have had my fair share of having to be strong this year. This is also a week where I was made aware of unbeliever that made a horrible choice and ended the life of her unborn child. That was just the beginning of stories I was made aware of and each with the ability to crush the heart. After getting through my sad week I had a couple of harrowing days trying to nurse my husband past this unexpected procedure, I felt empty and tired. Sometimes pain feels as if it has teeth, teeth that threaten to tear the soul.
This fog of sadness tried to settle around the borders of my heart. I couldn’t jump start my mind forward. This floating list of “todo’s” kept screaming at me, “get it together Rozy, you’re running out of time” but I couldn’t think past the grief, thick, black and heavy.
I sat at in a rather hidden spot at O2 but I was afraid I had nothing to give and I couldn’t rest for worry that Roger still needed more attention and an extra set of hands to help him. I ‘watched’ worship, I really can’t remember having done that before at 12Stone, as if it were on the outside of me instead of the inside. I was just taking up space. I was afraid someone would recognize me and ask me to pray for them, which normally would be the joy of my heart to serve someone but I thought my words might not come out of my mouth for the stupor that choked my heart. I felt separate instead of part of. For the first time in forever I felt as if I was on the outside looking in. I saw God moving, I saw the Spirit minister to many but I was outside of the moment.
Confusion was flooding me, why was I feeling so empty. This is not the hardest thing I’ve ever gone through by far so why was this darkness slamming against my mind and heart.
And then the magic….. a supposed supernatural power that makes impossible things happen.
I opened the Word and start reading…….Colossians 3:12-17
So, chosen by God for this new life of love, dress in the wardrobe God picked out for you: compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. Be even-tempered, content with second place, quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love. It’s your basic, all-purpose garment. Never be without it.
15-17Let the peace of Christ keep you in tune with each other, in step with each other. None of this going off and doing your own thing. And cultivate thankfulness. Let the Word of Christ—the Message—have the run of the house. Give it plenty of room in your lives. Instruct and direct one another using good common sense. And sing, sing your hearts out to God! Let every detail in your lives—words, actions, whatever—be done in the name of the Master, Jesus, thanking God the Father every step of the way.
What is it about these Words that have the power to remove the funk from my soul? I can feel the surge of hope coming back into my very bones. How can words form an ancient book do such magic? The fog has gone and the light of love has again chased confusion away and makes my spirit feel as if it has wings. There is more than sadness in this world. I get to be a carrier of this hope. Bad things happen but I will not hold them and they will not hold me, they have not come to stay for the Word resides and takes its place with full authority and all else must flee.
I am free, I am free to feel, and think, and be grateful, and full of thanksgiving. I am excited about tomorrow and hopeful about the future.
The Word of God is more invasive and powerful than any funk this world has to offer.